YOU...YOU

You are not worth any pain I bore,

You are not worth any effort I put,

Not worth any rules I broke,

Not worth any tears I shed,

Not worth the slightest pinch of salt,

Not worth bearing a fleeting thought,

Not worth anything I would have cared to share, cared to bear, cared to hold on to,

Cared to consider.

I may have given you all that,

But you know you ain’t worth a fart,

A bat of the eyelid, or the mind.

So I take it all back.

I may not have the strength to do it now,

But I take it all back.

The sacrifice I made... I wish I did it for a rat, not you

I wish I jumped in front of a speeding train, instead of you,

I would swallow cyanide, instead of you.

TO BEAR LOVE

Even music is not music without you,

Even the word in my book morph into strange shapes,

My heart lurches and my stomach twists,

Like a ship fighting stormy waters,

I feel discomfort, tougher than pain,

Wrapping me in her cruel arms.

I cannot stop thinking of you,

I only imagine where you are,

Where you are and what you are doing,

And my heart continues to long for you,

I continue to desire your presence.

Your touch brings joy unwarranted,

Your scent makes me squirm in excitement,

Excitement and desire,

Your lips caress and comfort,

Your gaze makes me blush and turn away,

You consume me with your very existence.

I desire you,

More than my very breath,

I long for you,

More than I can say or imagine,

The blood in my veins boils for you,

My dreams and needs are you,

Its all you,

Just take them and run away with them,

For I am all yours.

MAY THEY FLOW

May the tears fall from my eyes,

Endless, painless flowing tears,

Let them fall on paper and on cloth,

On flesh and on froth,

On memory and on thought.

Let them burn, acidic burn,

Let them sear, scald and wear,

May the clock hand turn.

May the tears fall, may they flow,

May the tears fall, may they flow.

MAY THE TEARS FALL MAY THEY FLOW.

FLOW.

Wear away the rocks of memory,

Wear away the careless fleeting thoughts,

Of joy hoped for, of peace longed for.

Wear away the inkling of hope,

The semblance of stability,

Break it down, break them down. Burn them.

Smash all of them...and flow.

INDIFFERENT? I LIE!

I wish you had burnt my face,

With sulphuric acid in haste,

I wish you had locked me in,

With tigers in a cage,

I wish you had released on me,

Flesh eating bacteria in waves,

How I wish you had taken my flesh

And left my heart untouched.

Every time you come near me,

I can’t help but cry, and bleed,

Cry and bleed,

I can’t help but moan and mope,

I can’t help but writh in pain,

I feel like you are pummeling me,

Bludgeoning me with a huge club,

From the inside all the way out,

I can’t help but try and run.

But you have tied me with your chains,

You have held me with your gaze,

You have forced me into a daze,

Its all now a haze,

My heart still beats for you,

My heart still longs for you,

My heart weeps for you,

But you don’t want it,

You never seem interested,

So you throw it in a bin,

Like last nights leftovers.

I wish I had not loved you,

I wish your scent had not enchanted me,

I wish your voice hadn’t woven its web,

Skillfully round my neck and my feet,

And made want you more,

More than any other.

I wish that I hadn’t wished also,

I wish I hadn’t sought,

I wish I could melt the past,

And remake it, rework it,

Redo it into something else.

But most of all, I wish it didn’t hurt so bad.

HE SEARCHES

                                    He sat there and he wept,

                                    He rolled and then he slept,

                                    He woke up and he ate,

                                    Just like it was fate,

                                    He was looking for a mate,

                                    Someone he could hate,

                                    Rolling rivers of reasons,

                                    Changing like the seasons,

                                    Confusion with a purpose,

                                    Tell me what can surpass...

                                   

FEAR , I FEAR

The innate fear of the unknown,

Fear of the inevitable known,

Fear of the consequences,

Action that happened in sequences.

Fear of reactions,

Precipitated by past reactions,

The what, when and where,

The who, how and which.

Fear of encounters,

Fear to counter,

Fear of the eyes that pierce,

The face that bears,

The countenance forebears,

What shall I do?

Fear always surrounds me,

Uncertainty pools around me,

Mirth and laughter escape me,

My halo fades,

My past haunts,

My future bleaks,

My mind squeaks,

My heart squeals,

My hands fail,

I get a tail,

I don’t want that mail,

I will break a nail,

What shall I do?

I FEAR.